Don’t you just love ‘love’? When I say love, I’m not talking about the idolised, romanticised and idealised version we see in movies or on social media that makes you believe love is all about chocolates and flowers and the huge diamond ring (though I wouldn’t turn one down. Perhaps, a ruby? Or an amethyst?) and the happily-ever-afters.
No. I’m talking about the genuine love that hits you when you least expect it, the kind that leaves you wondering how something so pure and real can exist in a world like this? The love that makes you appreciate the little things in life that are often overlooked. Like breathing. Love is a beautiful thing, word to Rev. Al Green.
A lot of people want to find their other half, their soul mate, the one that supposedly completes them and that is a lot to ask of another human being. If you’re looking for your other half, that insinuates that you’re broken and if that is the case, it is unfair to make your healing the responsibility of someone else. Unfair and irresponsible, if I’m honest. As cliché as this sounds, real love starts with self. You need to love yourself first and take the time to heal any wounds you might have. Nurse yourself until you become whole again. Love yourself first because once you do, you will know the kind of love you deserve and in the long run, you will save yourself from so many unnecessary heartbreaks.
I was broken (probably still am) but I’ve always been a misanthropist – which isn’t always a good thing – so I knew not to go seeking answers in the arms of other people. This forced me to face my problems (after years of burying them into my subconscious and pretending they didn’t exist), to get to the root of my brokenness and fix it myself. And I’m still fixing it because self-love and self-care is a journey, not a destination. Learning to love myself and being my own biggest cheerleader is an ongoing process and I am loving every moment of it. I also realised that the time I invested in learning how to love myself made it impossible for me to waste my time with half-hearted relationships and stupid friendships. Learn to fill yourself with so much love that you ooze it.
Real love is when your partner inspires you to become the best version of yourself without even meaning to. When you look into a mirror, you see your reflection. You see things you love about yourself but you also see your flaws. You might spot a pimple you didn’t even know was surfacing but as soon as you see it, you know you want it gone.
For me, your partner should be a spiritual mirror of some sort. You see yourself in them and even though you love what you see, there is always room for improvement. And that’s how love grows. You cultivate it, nurture it and you never let it die. It’s like your own private garden. You never give up on it because love is one of the few beautiful truths that exist.
Then again, this is all coming from a girl that has never been in love, at least not romantically. So if you’ve actually been in love or are in love, what’s it like? Was it like you expected? And if you haven’t, what do you think it’s like?
PS: All I’ve said about love doesn’t just apply to romantic love. It applies to all the relationships we hold dear. Friendships, familial, romantic. Love isn’t just limited to the romantic.