What depression is like

“Depression is a mystery even to those who suffer from it”  – Matt Haig

Depression is invisible. What makes it worse is that it is literally in your head. To the world, you might appear to be a well-functioning individual but in reality, you are in a state of mental turmoil. Depression is pain and because your mind is essentially limitless, the pain seems endless. It feels like you’re in a state of eternal agony. But because it isn’t a broken rib or an open wound, it is overlooked as “a moment of sadness”.

I have been living with depression since secondary school (6/7 years of pure bliss). As much as it disturbs me to admit this, I have watched my depression grow like I have watched my little brother grow. I was only formally diagnosed last April but I had identified it to be what it is at about 18 years old. The invisible nature of depression means it often goes undetected but there are signs to look for.

What depression can look like:

  1. Loss of appetite (I lost 5kg in 2 weeks without even noticing)
  2. Insomnia or oversleeping
  3. Loss of interest in things that usually bring you joy
  4. Unexplainable migraines
  5. Seeing shadows in your peripheral vision
  6. Struggling to complete everyday tasks like getting out of bed, showering, making a cup of tea etc.
  7. Irritability and restlessness
  8. Mental and physical exhaustion
  9. A sense of a random lingering negative vibe (be it anger or emptiness)
  10. Constantly being on edge
  11. Subconsciously waiting for things to go wrong even when everything is going great
  12. Difficulty concentrating
  13. Random pains in random parts of your body (I get tight chest pains and back pains)
  14. Feelings of hopelessness and/or helplessness

These are just a few of my symptoms, for lack of a better word. I have lived with these traits for so long that people assume they are just part of my character as opposed to seeing them for what they really are: a cry for help.

So if you or someone you know can identify with these things, it’s not the end of the world. Please speak to someone you trust or you can reach out to me on twitter. You shouldn’t have to suffer in silence and you definitely shouldn’t have to do it alone.

Also, be sure to always check up on the ones you love as often as you can because everyone is fighting their own demons.

Spread love x

3 thoughts on “What depression is like

  1. I feel your pain. I have struggled with the journey in the shadows my entire life. It wasn’t till about nine years ago when I realized and acknowledged I had a problem. It is very real, despite other’s rejecting the notion, lumping it into a category of just a normal part of life. Some days are great, but for the most part, everyday can be, and is, to some degree a struggle. Keep your head up and keep sharing! I believe expressing and sharing truly helps the individual as well as others suffering from depression.

    Liked by 1 person

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