Tying the knot


I remember one day during summer 2016. My mother and I were having a casual conversation which ventured into the realms of “you’re now 20, you need to start looking for a husband. Where is your boyfriend?”. As the only girl in the family, after my older brother clearly stated that marriage was a journey he isn’t too keen on, the responsibility falls onto me. Before I even got the chance to grace her with a response along the lines of “men are a waste of my time/I’m in love with my studies”, my little brother stepped in, saying “if she could marry herself, she definitely would”.

A few months later, I was walking past a Pandora store and that conversation popped into my mind. In that very moment, I decided to walk in and buy myself a ring that caught my eye. At the time, it was merely a joke but I realised that my ring saved me from a lot of unwanted attention from men so I began referring to it as my wedding ring.

In February, my ring became a part of my self-care journey. It became a symbol of my growth, a symbol that no matter what life throws at me, I will always have my best friend. Myself. It was like I had discovered the secret to my peace: a union of my mind and my soul, a much needed union as these two were constantly at war. So here are my vows:

  • I promise to love and care for myself even on days that are bleak.
  • I promise to be kind, patient, honest and forgiving.
  • I promise to be worthy of my love, the love I willingly give to others but cheat myself out of.
  • I promise to never compromise my standards.
  • I promise to protect my peace at all costs. Anything that disrupts my peace is not worth it.
  • I promise to let go of the past and move forward with the lessons of the past in order to better my future
  • I will always be with you through it all, in sickness and in health. For richer or poorer (like I have a choice).
  • I have always loved you and will continue to till the end of our days.

My decision to tie the knot wasn’t out of narcissism but out of a necessity to find harmony within myself. My ring is a constant reminder that peace of mind and self-love is a journey not a destination. It is a constant battle, a daily choice to love and cherish myself.

Writing vows and buying a ring may seem excessive to some but, in the words of Ru Paul, “if you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else”. So I challenge you to actively do something nice for yourself today. It could be anything but make it count.


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